Menu

Show posts

This section allows you to view all posts made by this member. Note that you can only see posts made in areas you currently have access to.

Show posts Menu

Messages - Nangka

#1
Roleplay / Re: The Trees of Timberwood
November 20, 2022, 05:34:46 AM
It started, as very few things do, with a plaque – and an idea to have that plaque replaced.

"It seemed like a good idea!" said Councilor Alanganin, viewing the plaque outside the Summit Library with the overworked head of his office, Executive Secretary Matiyak, who looked less convinced.

"If you say so, councilor," she said as she held a small file folder in the same hand that she used to hold her first cup of coffee for the day, which she immediately brought up to her mouth to take a sip from. In her other hand, she was reviewing even more documents with the use of a digital tablet. With the help of her skill in technomancy, this tablet was feeding information directly to her eyes without her even looking at it.

Instead of focusing on her tablet, Matiyak was looking at the plaque with Alanganin, a plaque that was installed right in front of the library for all to see. More importantly, Matiyak was looking at the small seal of the city council at the bottom of the plaque that read: "Summit City Council Committee for Libraries."

"Some of us in your office did raise our concerns," said Matiyak after she took another sip from her coffee.

"Of course, of course, but it was such a novel idea!" said the councilor, putting emphasis on his last three words by gesticulating in the way a politician who is used to giving speeches regularly would. "The council genuinely loved it! The mayor signed off on it! How many libraries in the country can brag about having more than 50 books?"

"I imagine a fair few of them-"

"Precisely, Matty! Only a fair few! And Summit Library is one of them!" said the councilor, only for Matiyak to roll her eyes in the way that she definitely always does when this lovable-but-naïve elected official she calls her boss gets when he's excited about things that he really should think about for more than a minute before acting on. "But now I hear people are laughing at the plaque, Matty! Laughing!"

"I can't imagine why, councilor," said Matiyak.

"Neither can I! This needs to go well! What if they're laughing at the plaque and then refusing to go to the library? Smaller library attendance means a smaller budget, which then leads to cost-cutting which then cascades into all these other problems! Less money to pay library staff, less money to pay for maintenance, less money for books! What if they have to sell the books, Matty? What if, to raise money for the library, they have to sell so many books that the library actually has fewer than 50 books? This plaque would be lying to the people!"

"I really wish they didn't disband the Public Library Board," said Matiyak, who was just nodding along to the councilor's small speech. She really did love her job and loved how passionate Alanganin gets for keeping places like Summit Library open and well-funded. "And the Public Library Commission before it," she added, which garnered a sad "Mhmm" of approval from the councilor.

They stood there in silence for a minute. Matiyak was still browsing through documents and schedules and minutes of meetings and, quite honestly, enjoying the downtime of not having to run around city hall. Alanganin was hyper-focused on the plaque in front of him. This silence stretched on to two minutes, until-

"I got it!" shouted Alanganin suddenly, raising a hand in a gesture of triumph. His voice made several people passing by look his way in shock for a second before they went back about their business. "A new plaque. We'll get a new plaque!"

"Oh, councilor-"

"Home to More Than One Hundred Books!" he said, his hands wiping the air in front of the plaque with a flourish. "That'll do it! There's definitely at least 50 books in the new shipment that just came in, right?"

"Councilor, please-"

"It's genius! It's absolutely genius! The council's going to love this!"

"Are you sure?"

"Of course, I'm sure, Matty! How many libraries can brag about having more than a hundred books?"

"We just talked about-"

"Come on, Matty, we need to get back to the office," he said as he started to walk down the street toward City Hall. "We need to do a lot of paperwork! A budget request for the cost of a new plaque, a requisition form to get a local shop to have a new plaque made – I'm sure we can use our old contractor, right? They won't mind, it's extra cash! – an authorization form to get the old plaque removed, another authorization form to get the new plaque installed, a public discussion for this magnificent, wonderful, brilliant idea– Ow!"

Before he could walk any further, Matiyak, using her hand holding her cup of coffee and file folder, conjured a wall of hard air with a flick of her wrist to stop him. He rubbed at his forehead for a bit before turning on his secretary. "Matty? What'dja do that for?"

"Ally, for Elhek's sake," she said, using his nickname to get it through to him that she wanted him to listen because this was a serious matter. "Your commitment to Summit Library is wonderful. But in the months you spent working on getting this plaque through City Council, did you even stop to, oh I don't know, talk to any of the library employees?"

She dispelled the conjured wall of air with another flick of her wrist, moving as though it wasn't weighed down by her coffee and files.

"Well of course! We had a public discussion-"

"During which," she interrupted," you gave library staff no room to answer questions from the public. Poor Lynue was fuming by the end of it because she couldn't get a word in."

The councilor was silent for another minute as he digested the gravity of what Matiyak told him. He was being negligent, and she had shoved this into the spotlight for him to see and take stock of. Seeing that he would not respond, she continued, walking up the steps to the Summit Library and opening the door by using more conjured air to turn the knob.

"Perhaps, before we go talk to City Council again, you could spend some time with one of your constituents?" she said, holding the door open for him with her hand – which, it must be stressed, is already busy holding her coffee and her files.

"Of course. Of course, Matty, you're right. I'm sorry, I've been neglectful of the very people this plaque is supposed to benefit. We should go in, take in the library, talk with staff," he said. "And I suppose I should apologize to... Uh..."

"Lynue," Matiyak said, completing the sentence for him.

"Lynue, right, sorry," he said. "Off we go, then."
#2
WARZONE / Re: Match E: Wood Block | Grit Whetstone
September 03, 2021, 06:59:29 AM
Got a question for you! What's heavier? A kilogram block of wood or a kilogram grit whetstone?

That's right, it's a kilogram grit whetstone. Because grit whetstone is heavier than wood.

#3
Spam / Re: Name Five
August 26, 2021, 11:47:23 PM
Crusader Kings II
Rust
This War of Mine
Papers, Please
Mount & Blade: Warband

Name five things that made you super happy this year
#4
Spam / Re: Extreme Count to 1,000
August 26, 2021, 11:37:45 PM
12
#5
Spam / Re: Count to 42069
August 26, 2021, 11:37:25 PM
100 ayyyyyyy
#6
Spam / Re: Corruption Game
August 26, 2021, 11:37:01 PM
Granted, but you are now asleep until September ends.

I wish the prescription on my glasses are up to date.
#7
Spam / Re: Spam Points
August 26, 2021, 11:34:47 PM
HumanSanity: 79
Emily: 61
Luca: 51
Argo: 25
Wasc: 10
FLP: 7
Ziz: 5
Dyll: 5
Fox: 4
Zuk: 2
Sueloc: 1
Nangka: 1
#8
Spam / Re: One Word Storyline
August 26, 2021, 11:34:13 PM
Once upon a star supernova, twenty six legendary cards descended from our tall card tower. Hooray!

Our newfound love Testlandia, wore splendid magenta fursuit, specifically commissioned to contain BEES! It buzzed through rainbow, over walls yonder, and into the sky. At midnight, Gerald Ford erupted from his volcanic lair, overflowing with meritorious service. Both chambers reloaded their legislative shotguns while removing glistering shirts, heated by lava undershirts. Ford devoured the 535 imperial guards, while copper prices skyrocketed, and legislation stalled.

Meanwhile, the legendary crocodile, Crocodile Irwin, initiated CPR for the legislature of New Hartoria. Mercifully, HS wrote textwalls of
#9
Spam / Re: Count to 1,000
August 26, 2021, 11:32:46 PM
153
#10
Spam / Re: Last Person to Post Wins
August 26, 2021, 11:32:33 PM
Winner winner among us dinner
#11
Spam / Re: The (Lazy) Alphabet Thread
August 26, 2021, 11:32:14 PM
a
#12
"'ERE WE GO, 'ERE WE GO, 'ERE WE GO, 'ERE WE GO, 'ERE WE GO, 'ERE WE GO, 'ERE WE GO, 'ERE WE GO."

A low rumble could be felt in the distance. The heavily accented chanting of "here we go" was growing louder and louder, and the men and women of Albuquerque, New Mexico, were very, very scared. Many were packing up their bags and heading out of town immediately. Others, like Mike Ehrmantraut and his hundreds of foot soldiers were gathering together at this fast-food joint somewhere in town. It sells burgers. Or chicken. I don't know, I've never watched Breaking Bad.

But the point is, these armed men all have guns, they're all paid very well and they want to keep being paid well. And so, they decide to join up with Ehrmantraut, their boss, and defend this place. Most of the boys show up. But a very small handful are noticeably absent. They didn't know it, but those that didn't show up had joined their families in running away from Albuquerque.

"Let's get this over with quick!" yelled Ehrmantraut, as loud as he can. His voice isn't as strong as it used to be in his younger days, but he still has a commanding aura around him, and those that couldn't hear him asked to get caught up by the others that could. "I have an audition later. As a guy in some weird sitcom about a high school, or a community college, or something. I don't know. They're going to pay me well, which means I'm going to pay you well. So man your posts. The sooner we defend this burger joint, or chicken joint, or whatever, the sooner we can get out of here."

The men did as they were all told. Perhaps a hundred strong, they all had the finest weapons they could acquire. They were all legal, of course. New Mexico's gun laws may not be very restrictive, but every single person here went through the process of getting a license to carry large-caliber and automatic firearms. As they should.

The rumbling in the ground started gaining speed. The chanting of "'ERE WE GO, 'ERE WE GO, 'ERE WE GO, 'ERE WE GO" was louder now. Clearer. And with that chanting came other loud noises. Firearms randomly going off. Random yells of pain and terror. The beings that were making this noise were already in Albuquerque, and they were causing chaos.

Ehrmantraut's men could watch the chaos unfold in the distance. Firearms were going off everywhere, buildings were randomly exploding and many more were catching fire. After a few more minutes, Ehrmantraut and his men were finally able to see who they were up against.

They were tall. Unnaturally tall. Perhaps nine feet tall on average. Their physique made them look very bulky, and their skin was green all over. They were the Orkz.

Da Orkz lined themselves up at the end of the parking lot surrounding the fast-food restaurant. They had all different kinds of weapons with them. Firearms that looked like they would explode after one shot. Rusty-looking swords, axes and mallets. One Ork Boy had a cartoonish-looking rocket launcher. The head of the rocket was painted bright red and everything.

As Da Orkz assembled, one Ork went forward and got on top of a parked car. Its roof bending heavily under the weight of the beast. This one Ork had a claw for a hand, and a rusty and blood-stained sword on the other. He was taller than the other Orkz by a foot, and he yelled: "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!"

As one, all Da Ork Boyz yelled the same thing. Urged on by their leader, they charged, firing wildly at anything in front of them. Most of their shots missed. The one Ork with the rocket launcher tried to aim the thing, but it backfired and sent him flying off in the opposite direction. Another Ork with what looked like a cobbled-together shotgun was similarly blown back after firing just one shot. Some of the other Orkz tripped on themselves as they charged forward. They yelled in pain and cursed at their fellow Orkz for trampling over them in the chaos. The Ork Boss who made the first yell was stuck in the back. The roof of the car he stood on could not take his weight, and as he stepped forward it broke underneath him.

But despite all these mistakes, there were many more Orkz that were still making their way to the fast-food restaurant. Many of Ehrmantraut's men had already started firing the moment the Orkz charged. Many Orkz were felled by accurate gunfire, many more just kept going despite getting hit several times. One man just gave up after shooting an Ork straight in the chest with his entire magazine, but the Ork just kept going.

"To hell with this," he said, and he ran off to the back exit of the restaurant. He called up his spouse, and he was gone with his family in minutes.

Most of Ehrmantraut's other men also got out. Others were cut down by the horde of Orkz. The weak and, by comparison, skinny-looking humans stood no chance to the towering, bulky Orkz, even if the weapons of the aliens were primitive in comparison to the well-armed 'Muricans.

The Orkz ransacked the entire restaurant. All the chairs were turned over. The cash register was smashed by one Ork with a mallet, who just really liked to smash things. The kitchen was similarly smashed. Except for the food. Which was burgers, or chickens, or something. I really can't stress enough how I have never watched this show.

In any case, they grabbed up all the food to be eaten later. Everything else - the fryers, the refrigerators, all of it was smashed. Smashed, smashed, smashed.

As the Orkz left the restaurant, the bodies of their victims were strewn all over the floor. One of them was Ehrmantraut, whose old heart gave out just as he saw the first Orkz.

ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ WIN!!!
#13
Cristiano Ronaldo, wearing a hoodie, a cap and sunglasses – the classic "invisible" get up – strolls up to the cashier with two items: a pill bottle for finasteride and a box of minoxidil topical solution. Both are the most common medications used to treat male-pattern baldness. The cashier does not recognize one of the world's most famous football players, a man worth $500 million and the winner of dozens of trophies and league titles. It's because of his invisible get up. It works perfectly.

Ronaldo gets home and looks at himself in the mirror in his bathroom. He is the absolute perfect specimen of a man. He is over six feet tall – not like puny little Lionel Messi, he thinks to himself – his muscles are built and well-toned, he is very handsome and his hair is perfect.

Well, almost perfect.

He began noticing it a few weeks ago. When he woke up in the morning, there would be hair all over his side of the bed. His partner also noticed one day while sweeping that there was an unusual amount of hair all over the floor. Not just long strands of hair, but shorter ones too.

That's when he knew something had to be done. And fast. This is why he went to the pharmacy immediately to pick up the finasteride and minoxidil – he Googled "solutions for hair loss" while driving and found these were the most common treatments.

But as he stared at the pill bottle of finasteride and the box of minoxidil, he began thinking. How long will this give me? I have to take these forever if I want to keep my hair. Can I really do that? And what about the side effects?

He began reading the bottle and the box carefully. They both listed the side effects of constant use, and he was downcast. No, he thought. I can't do this forever. One day, I'll slip up. I'll be too focused on training, or there will be a match, or something else. I'll miss taking these one day and then my hair will fall out again.

No, I can't win. The baldness will take me, whether in my 40s or in my 50s. It will win. No. Noooo.

Male-pattern baldness wins!
#14
Spam / Re: Name a type of pancake
August 16, 2021, 06:34:44 AM
Pancake
#15
Spam / Re: Count to 42069
August 16, 2021, 06:32:44 AM
96
#16
WARZONE / Re: WARZONE: The Battle of All Things
August 15, 2021, 06:52:58 AM
#17
WARZONE / Re: WARZONE: The Battle of All Things
August 14, 2021, 02:25:27 AM
#18
Spam / Re: Where's Waldo
August 12, 2021, 11:13:26 PM
I HAVE FOUND HIM!!!!!

Sorry but you are not allowed to view spoiler contents.