Corruption Game

[Luca]

This board has been up for a few days without any ideas on what to post, so it must be time for a new megathread in this officially sanctioned board to post nonsense.

This is the corruption game. The point is to grant the wish of the previous poster in the most useless or unsatisfying way. Then, make a new wish for the next poster.

I wish I owned a sports car.

Granted, but it is in space.

I wish I had a lamp for this room.

[Copyn]

I wish I had a lamp for this room.

You absolute goof! Your lamp is a roaming spider - you must capture it every time you wish to turn it on or off! Muahaha!


I wish I had more ideas on what to post in the forums or is that wish a lil too meta

[Natalie]

Granted, but you become exceedingly anxious with self-doubt when you start writing a post and never actually manage to send a message.

I wish it were December.

[Luca]

Granted, but it will now always be December.

I wish I had another lamp in this room.

Edit: Haha, I'm distracted. I forgot I posted that.

I wish I had some dinner already

[Copyn]

 :cthulhu: eternal december hype

Granted, but you have to wait for me to arrive before eating, and I'm a very slow runner

I wish I had an unlimited supply of gum!

[haru]

no teeth

i wish i had an endless stream of coffee that i could prepare without any effort or creating any waste 

[Copyn]

no teeth

that's...blunt my dentist won't be happy with that

your coffee is always juuust too hot to drink muahaha

I wish I had a violin!

[haru]

no strings

i wish i weren't so cold all the time

[Copyn]

no more christmas cuz it's too warm for santa to visit :c

I wish I was an animal that could change into a human by shedding my skin and change back by putting it back on

[Emily]

Granted, but you produce an incredible stench every time your skin comes off.

I wish I had an idea for what I should write.

[mads]

I wish I had an idea for what I should write.

Granted, but you have no fingers with which to write.

I wish I had perfect skin.

[Callie]

Granted, but your milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.

I wish I was immune to onion tears.

[Emily]

Granted but now you see the tearjerking injustice and tragedy of onions being sliced with a knife every time you do so.

I wish I could just have this comfortable feeling forever.

[Jens]

Granted, but now you're always so comfortable you get into a trance-like state and are no longer aware of your surroundings.

I wish I had a car.

[Casimir]

Sure, but the brakes don't work so everytime you need to stop or slow down somewhere you need to release the gas pedal between ten and a hundred feet before your destination.

I wish I knew how to draw.

[Natalie]

I think you're vastly underestimating the coasting momentum of vehicles.

Granted. You know how to draw exceptionally well, but your fingers no longer have joints.

I wish we had more pie.

[Casimir]

Granted, but every foodstuff and beverage now only exists in pie form.

[Luca]

Boo, you didn't make a new wish 

I wish I was an ent O.o

[mads]

I wish I was an ent O.o

Granted. You have termites :/

I wish I could fly!

[Emily]

Granted, you can never land again.

I wish I had chocolate.